Mark Wahlberg Insults Tom Cruise and Wins

Hi gals,

In case you haven’t heard or haven’t realized, Tom Cruise is an absolute jackass. He is a super jackass, really the biggest jackass in all the land. The only reason I think he is such an asshole is because Mark Whalberg basically told me so. 

Earlier this week, Tom Cruise was reported to have compared making movies to serving in Afghanastain. The papers blew up with headlines about Cruise, especially since the story had been released on Veterans Day. But, before Tom Cruise’s PR team could even blink and say that the quote was taken out of context, Mark Wahlberg came out of nowhere and stole the show with his ever so muscular arms.

On Tuesday, Wahlberg expressed his outrage at the AFI Fest screening by saying, “You don’t do what these guys did. For somebody to sit there and say my job was as difficult as somebody in the military’s. How f–king dare you. While you sit in a makeup chair for two hours.”

Done. I’m done. Whatever apology Tom Cruise comes up with or any statement he claims isn’t true, I don’t care. Mark Wahlberg not only stood up for the people who fight for our country, but he emasculated Tom Cruise with just his words.

Cruise’s attorney released statements about how his words were taken out of context. It doesn’t matter though. Cruise’s team could send out a million press releases and it wouldn’t change a thing. Walhberg defended what he thought was right, and did so in a very raw and masculine way. He made himself look like a hero rescuing a damsel in distress, even thought there was no damsel.

Hence, why Tom cruise is a jackass and I wish Mark Wahlberg could come rescue me.
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